Join Derek Myers, Dan Lee and their many guests as they discuss fatherhood. Or conversations are sometimes funny, sometimes scary and sometimes sad.. just like every day of being a father in the modern world.
Brett is a founding member of Red Stitch Actors theatre, an actor of stage and screen, you might even recognise him from his time on Neighbours many years ago. He is a screenwriter, friend and father of two and today he joins us for one of my favourite conversations so far.
The topics covered.
Red stitch playlist fundraiser, playlets, playwriting, theatre directing.
Derek talks about his time at Mooroolbark amateur theatre company.
Fixed wheel bicycles, hipster and feeling old in Collingwood.
The second child disruption.
You reap what you sow- when talking nonsense and telling Dad jokes comes back at you.
Are they crazy or are they just four years old.
How are other parents coping- what’s normal behaviour?
Being a single Dad- successful break ups.
Don’t stay together just for the kids- parents being happy is more important.
Why do people split up after the second child?
Don’t forget your partner- nurture your relationship.
Dealing with your emotions- kids can be cruel.
Brett talks about being on the Australian TV soap, Neighbours at the age of 21.
When the kids start taking care of themselves.
TV and kids- smart TV viewing- single parents and TV- avoiding advertising- binging watching.
Parents can’t be perfect but they can be aware and prepared to improve.
This week our conversation is with Dr Chris Higgins. Chris is a father of three, Grandfather of five, a GP, Head Doctor at the Asylum Seekers Resource Centre and Dan's father in law. He was an early fan and critic of our previous podcast "What now, Derek?" and now he shares with us his thoughts on fatherhood.
List of topics covered.
The subculture of the 1960's, the Vietnam war, conscription and the terrible possibility of watching your children go to war.
what do fathers expect of their children?- Happiness over material success.
Being Missy Higgins' father- watching your child achieve sudden, early success and the issues that raises.
Fame and social anxiety- leaning on family rather than drugs and alcohol.
The most important thing- establishing an open, supportive, trusting relationship with your kids.
Let them make mistakes to learn. protect and let go simultaneously.
Experimenting with drugs- What if our kids do all the things that you did??
The rise of "Ice".
What should we tell our kids about our past?
Parents will always find a way to take the blame for their kids hardships.
Forgive yourself... but not too much.
Chris tells an anecdote about mountain climbing with his son.
Take trips with your kids where you overcome some kind of obstacle. foundational activities.
Being present not just in the room.
Screen addiction for the whole family.
What kids want most is connection with family members.
Go camping- make memories.
The horrors of croup- Dealing with your own anxiety in order to calm the child.
Childbirth- what does the father really have to offer?
Shared values and parents being on the same page.
How much open sharing should happen between parents and kids?
Derek has an idea to have a food truck outside the children's hospital that serves known allergies.
Chris talks briefly about his position as head doctor at the Asylum seekers resource centre.
Learning more from your kids than they learn from you.
We hope to have Chris back again in future to delve deeper into all of these topics and to give Dan a chance to be less nervous!
This week we talk with Sean Whelan about the early death of his father and learn about what it means to be a sperm donor. We discuss how expectations have changed since our fathers generation, tell some anecdotes about our Dad's and their efforts to discipline us before moving on to discuss in detail the wonders of same sex parents and their donor men, conscious conception and considered parenting in the absence of a father.
NOTE FROM DEREK: Some serious topics covered in this episode have sparked conversations between the subjects about definitions and roles in same sex parenting situations, especially when they involve a donor. Dan and I have been loving the learning curve and are happy to say the Mothers from this ep. are going to come in at some stage for a chat.
Dan and Derek get down to some serious fathering anecdotes and peer support with Scott Edgar from musical comedy trio Tripod. We also touch briefly on the joys of Dungeons and Dragons which allows me to say, with great pleasure, that D&D declare that they are D&D curious. We also discuss the logistics of family meetings- the ethics of screen time and mobile phones for eleven year olds, corporal punishment and the terror of the teen years approaches.
Scott has illustrated a series of kids books recently called The Super Moopers with Sally Rippin and Fiona Harris
Scott and Tripod also have a podcast with Andrew Pogson- check it out
Here we go. Dan and Derek's award whining podcast 'What Now" has been rebranded and reborn into a show focussing loosely around fatherhood, and will be having plenty of interesting guests on the show at different levels of PFSD (Pre Fatherhood Stress Disorder)
SO... hang on to your hats and let's get stuck in.